Are You An Empath?
If you are an empath or a highly sensitive person you are most likely vulnerable to energy vibrations around you. It can be hard to interact with low vibrational or destructive people. Create an environment that feeds good vibrations and protects you from bad energy vibrations. Set up a routine and get into habits that support you and shield you from harmful or toxic energies.
I have a friend who loves talking about her relationship. I am an empath and my first instinct is to take everything she says to heart. I feel her pain and always try to comfort her. I really care about her, her feelings and her relationship. She talks, I listen and then I feel so drained and ill because she always finds something negative to talk or complain about. She talks about her husband being controlling or her children being disrespectful or about her childhood traumas. She always gets upset about something and needs comforting.
I feel uncomfortable listening to so many painful stories. She doesn’t give me a chance to process her words or emotions or to give her advice or even to comment. Talking to her always takes its toll on me. But I just can’t stop her or leave the conversation – I really don’t want to hurt her feelings. I just don’t have the ability to stop her.
So, I know if I let myself get too deep into a destructive conversation like that – two things will happen – I won’t be able to leave the conversation when it gets too much for me and I will get overloaded with negative emotions and thought-forms that are not mine. I don’t want to absorb and carry away bad low energy vibrations, so I decided I need to set boundaries.
I just make sure now that I never let our conversations get destructive because if I keep listening and feeling sorry for her, I will pick up on her drama and get ill later on.
I know as an empath I just don’t have the ability to stop her. So, I make sure I am never around her or other people who want to have negative talks just for the sake of negative talks. I will listen to my friend when she needs my help or advice, I won’t cut her off. But I won’t let her carry on again and again about the same negative situations in her destructive relationship if she doesn’t want to do anything about it.
Empathy without boundaries is destructive.
I love my friend, but I don’t want to pick up negative thought forms that she creates when she talks about her dramas. If she can’t control her words, thoughts or feelings to any degree she neglects her energetic hygiene. Whether she knows it or not, she creates very low vibrational energy around her that affects others. Being around my friend when she is so careless, I can easily pick up on her negative thought forms and later on mistake them for my own. So, I stay away from the conversations that can lead me to get infected with energetic parasites like thought-forms.
That’s a simple example, but there are many others that you can think about in your own life. There are a lot of folks who very appropriately medicate with other people’s drama. This is because when we hear about other people’s dramas, our own problems looks smaller.
At first, it is soothing to us to know that others have problems too. But getting that emotional hit from somebody else’s misfortune can get addictive. So if you are prone to that addictive emotional response you have to be careful about getting hooked on negative energy from people’s dramas and arguments.
So if you have had a bad day or feel lonely or you are a little down you want to talk to someone. Your first instinct is to call a friend. If you have a friend like mine, you know she is going to talk about her own problems, but you think: I’ll just quickly tell her about my day and go. But, an hour later you are still talking to her and you are talking about her day, not yours.
And you are done. And what you have done unconsciously, by calling her is feed into your weakness. But if there is no toxic friend to call, you will find another way to handle your problems.
That’s why I always tell folks.
Toxic friends are actually a disservice to you. You hide from your feelings in other people’s drama, instead of addressing and processing your own issues.
If you have a routine when you address your problems in a positive way – either with a journal or meditation or quiet self-reflection, you will develop a habit of sitting quietly with your thoughts, observing them and working with them instead of feeding on other people’s toxic emotions.
To break the cycle, create a sacred place, a little corner in a room where you can rest your thoughts and your body. Arrange it with what you like, what makes you happy and at ease – ambient music, candles, essential oil. Or just nothing. I sometimes leave my special space clear of any clutter. I am looking forward to being in my recharge corner by myself and with myself. If I need to process my thoughts or emotions, I go there instead of looking for comfort in other people’s drama or negative emotions.
Create a refuge charged with positive energy that you know is good for you and that you also like. And then you will slowly start to get into a habit of spending time there when you most need it. Now, if you are listening, you have your own limitations and your strengths. Feed the strengths then hinder the limitations. Starve them.
If you are constantly picking up on your friends or family’s negative energy or thought forms and can’t get away from them because you are an empath – change your routine by setting up the boundaries. Explain to your friend beforehand that you will be there for them if they need any advice or practical help. Tell them that you are there if they need to talk and have your opinion on something that is bothering them. But you are not equipped to listen or take part in a negative conversation that serves no purpose other than to just dump their emotional waste on you.
The best advice I gave to my friend is to take charge of her own thoughts and words and to avoid spreading negativity to make herself feel better. If your friends don’t want to change their ways – there is nothing left for you to do but cut the energetic cord between you and to stop getting affected by negative energy that brings destruction and illness.
In a situation when you are tempted to overload someone with your own negative thoughts or feelings – remember there is a beautiful little corner waiting for you where you can be with yourself and look deeply at your own issues. There is nobody else who knows you better than you do, and you can always find a way to carry yourself out of any negative cloud of thought-forms and low vibrations.
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